I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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