I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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