D3 body, D1 cock
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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