only if we run a train.
done.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize