I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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