I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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