i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
