I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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