I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
