i don't like sucking hair
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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