and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Randomize
