xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
