i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
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I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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