why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
