Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
not ubering you a puppy
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
