wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
