You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You can't motorboat a personality
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
