i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
