Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
