so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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