it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
