CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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