Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
