Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
