Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
