that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
