That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
