Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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