so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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