Midget sex pt 2 tonight
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
