How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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