his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
