he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
