Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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