So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As shirtless as possible
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
