mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
