puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize