I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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