We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
