You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
