Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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