put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
