Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
