using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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