Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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