you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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