When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
