I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
