At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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