The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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