so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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