no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me