Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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