summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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