Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
