Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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