Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
