I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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