I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You can't just leave with hair like that
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
