just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
