Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
a search helicopter?!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
