no, he came in my armpit
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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