you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
