I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
did you just send me my own nude
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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