There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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