If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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